Now for something somewhat different: Kazakhstan-ania!

So remember that made-up country that Borat claimed as his country of origin, his motherland, his watan (as we say in Turkmen)? I went there! And it isn’t made up! It is quite real. In fact, it is absolutely enormous. How a country the size of Kazakhstan has simply been overlooked by the educators in the US for so many years, I simply do not know. Actually, I do. Turkmenistan and Kazakhstan are still clumped together with the Balkans as ‘Former Soviet Countries’ or a bit more specifically as ‘Central Asia’ and are referred to as such. The world has not looked close enough nor do the curriculum writers think it of any value to note the differences between these countries.

I must admit that I also was prone to generalizations concerning Central Asian countries. I extrapolated from what I knew of Turkmenistan to make sweeping statements and assumptions about the rest of the countries in the area. I was prone to claim—with all the pretension I now acknowledge in hindsight—that my experience here has helped me understand communism. HA! I now would add lots and lots of modifications like in the education systems and in the mindset of some citizens of post-Soviet Ashgabat, the capital of Turkmenistan.’ Not nearly as impressive but much more accurate.

So. Here are some ways in which Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan are in fact very different despite their geographic proximity.

1. Size. Kazkahstan is to Turkmenistan as the United States is to Rome. So that’s not technically true but I think you get the idea. As a result, K-stan has more people, more industry, more security issues, more Peace Corps volunteers, more money, more Gloria Jean’s coffee, more diverse geography, more grocery stores, and more traffic.
2. Almaty! Almaty, the old capital of K-stan, is unlike any place in Turkmenistan.
3. Plane tickets are much more expensive in K-stan. We flew from the South of the country to the middle of the country for more than I pay in T-stan to fly to London.
4. Everything else is expensive too.
5. Steppe (K-stan) is not desert (T-stan).
6. Exposure to foreigners. Taxi drivers in Turkmenistan are unaccustomed to speaking to foreigns particularly foreigners that they can actually communicate with. In my estimation, this ups their eagerness to engage about 10 bazillion percent.
7. Shopping. I visited a number of shopping centers in K-stan (there is only 1 in T-stan) and one of them had a rollercoaster that snaked from floor to floor. It also had a donut stand. Donuts. Rollercoasters. Sigh.
8. Thickness of walls. The Siberian climate necessitates thick walls in K-stan. Not so in my own living place.
9. National Parks. K-stan has them. I was even able to visit one.
10. Produce. At least in Ashgabat, I am lucky enough to have access to fresh produce year round. In K-stan, this is not the case. Fresh produce trickles off during the winter months (October-Mayish). However, don’t feel too bad for them they do have frozen produce available in the freezer section of most grocery stores.
11. Ice. K-stan has it. Turkmenistan doesn’t.
12. Russian. K-stan has more ethnically Russian people and Russian is spoken more prevalently. Kazahk language is accompanied by Russian on all billboards, all signs, all everything everywhere. Also, Kazahk still uses the Cyrillic (Russian) alphabet although they have added around six letters of their own.

Similarities.

1. Both end in –stan.
2. The weather can only be described as ‘changeable.’ Did we ever use this kindly adjective in the US? I don’t even know anymore . . . Most of the time I was in K-stan it was a delicious 30 degrees C. The locals and Peace Corps volunteers complained about the heat BUT they are all just silly steppe dwellers who know nothing of desert dwelling.
3. Ashgabat and Astana both overwhelm the observer at first glance with the simple fact that they are completely, absolutely planned cities. From those of you living in Houston which doesn’t even really have zoning, you cannot really conceive of this. Consider the cities you built on SimCity and imagine that you had almost unlimited funding, liked fountains, and had an affinity for cinderblocks.
4. Soviet style monuments. Soviet style architecture (big painted concrete boxes with satellite dishes sprouting like mushrooms all over).
5. Tea. Tea with milk. Fried Potatoes. Although black tea was more prevalent.
6. Palow or Palof although Kazakh palow has some unidentifiable spice.
7. Pictures of respective presidents hanging in and on buildings, billboards, etc. I even got to put my hand in a mold of Nazarbayev's hand.

All in all, I had a wonderful visit. After my visit, I headed directly to close of service conference in a beautiful resort on the Caspian Sea. At this conference, we prepared to leave the country and discussed the difficulties of reverse culture shock. We also played volleyball, swam, socialized, and ate as much melon as we could get our hands on. We did a good job celebrating our last couple of months in the wonderful, perplexing country that is Turkmenistan.

Did you catch that? These are my last months of service here! It hasn’t really sunk in. I’m doing the best I can to keep it from sinking in by keeping my nose to the metaphoric grindstone. School starts tomorrow, new volunteers come (God willing!) October 1st, and I need to wrap up my grant. Work work work! Any of you that now me can translate that as contentment.

Thanks for hanging in there with me so far. Just a little while longer to go!

Cheers!