I started my day, as usual, at the institute. I showed up an hour or so early for my first lesson to print out some ‘Oh Crap!’ materials. ‘Oh Crap!’ materials are necessary for those moments when you finish the entirety of your planned lesson in the first forty minutes of class and have a full 40 minutes left to go. I greeted the teachers in the lounge on my way in and immediately noted that something was up. Far too many teachers were lounging.
“No students today!” I was informed with smiles.
“Not any?” I asked.
Yesterday, I had taught two classes of only boys. The girls were busy rehearsing for their part in the upcoming national concert held in honor of Flag Day. I had enjoyed both of these lessons. As it turns out, boys focus much better when the girls are absent. You have to tip your hat sometimes to gender segregated education.
“No,” I was assured. “No students today. They have all been taken. “
I had a small moment with myself as I fantasized about bad lines from horror movies. Then I went to the resource room to study Russian. I have been neglecting my Russian. Strong words of chastisement are warranted and even welcome. If interested, please note the comment box below this post.
About 10 minutes later, I was called back into the teacher’s lounge. The teachers had a great idea. They would consolidate all the remainders. You know, all those ½ and ¾ that somehow avoided evolvement in the concert. So I held an eighty (80!!!!) minute lesson concocted purely from ‘Oh Crap!’ materials with a wide assortment of students. For all of you who watched me tediously over-plan for my summer school classes, YES, I have learned to wing it.
During the break between classes, I was invited to attend a Valentine’s Day production put on by the third year students. I walked to the next building over arm and arm with one of my co-workers. We learned about various love themed holidays around the world, we were wooed by an excerpt from Romeo and Juliet, we were serenaded by Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On,” we observed (read: participated illegally by providing answers with poorly concealed gestures) a riddle-solving competition. The riddles included some oldies but goodies:
What always keeps two hands in front of its face?
What goes up and down at the same time?
What can run all day without getting hot?
What word has five letters but when you take away two, one is left?
What word is always pronounced wrong?
After all of this, we were served tea and candies in true Turkmen fashion.
I left the institute at 1:30 and delighted in the fact that my day had been absolutely unpredictable thus far and that I had adapted to this unpredictability.
Then I spent a frustrating but productive couple of hours acquiring a cheap plane ticket to London for vacation. Woot! I made good friends with a dayza (literally aunt but figuratively any woman over 45 with a headscarf and a turkey/peacock sweater) waiting in line. She, like so many dayzas before her, simply shook her head and gave me a wide-eyed “Tuweleme, tuweleme” (Rough translation: Let it continue to be so) when she discovered my country of origin.
Then. THEN. And this is perhaps the best part of my day. I was walking home from the bus stop when I encountered this kid. My walk home from the bus stop is about 15 minutes through a winding, fountain-filled park. I was enjoying the weather and my ipod when I saw him. He was about 4 years old and bundled up like crazy. His face was squashed by a tightly tied beany. Turkmen protect their children well against cold. He was tottering along at a break-neck speed about 15 full paces in front of his young mom with a huge smile on his face. He looked me straight in the face and gave me a quick ‘Zdrastvitze!’ (Russian hello spelled phonetically). Then he was past me. I did not have time to react. I did not have time to respond to his greeting or to the fact that he had a plastic ak 47 under his right arm. This is the only kind of gun allowed in T-stan. The huge smile hit my face only as I was passing his mom. She was startled by my huge smile.
Anything else to report??
Oh yes. The German! We acquired a German yesterday. This German did more than my unpredictable days to convince me that I am adjusting to life here. We acquired him at one of the bazaars where he stuck out like a sore thumb with his backpack and messy hair. No Turkmen would be caught in public with messy hair or dusty shoes. The first time Maya-my Russian teacher, Gary-another A-bot volunteer, and I passed this guy, Gary attempted a greeting. He didn’t have time to react and we were swept passed each other. So Gary went after him.
Once contact was made, the German claimed he had thought we were all Turkmen.
1 point for blending in.
He was looking for the independence monument. We looked at each other. This must be either bas or sekiz ayak (5 or 8 legs).
1 point for only knowing the nicknames of monuments.
We got him a beer and got him on a bus headed the right direction.
2 points for knowing the cheapest place to get the beer and 1 point for knowing the bus system.
As we accompanied him on the bus and to the monuments, we listened to his commentary. All the white buildings! All the interesting Turkmen-Soviet architecture! All the lights! We looked at each other in condescending amusement. Our stomping grounds. These things no longer seemed worthy of exclamation. They are simply permanent fixtures in the backdrop of our daily lives.
5 points for feeling comfortable with our surroundings. -1 point for the condescension.
Thank you, oh wandering German, for making my day!!
Total: 9 adjustment points! Almost a perfect 10!
Hope you are all doing well! Thank you so much for all the winter wear you have sent me. I have survived the worst part of the winter with all my fingers and toes intact. I miss you guys. Shoot me an e-mail whenever!!
Me
Note: Today I feel adjusted. Tomorrow I won’t. This is the glory of living abroad!
Friday, February 20, 2009
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